Each and everyone one of us have their own family problems and I know that there are families who have even worse problems. But for me, I think it doesn’t matter if the problem is big or small as long as you get affected and get hurt with it, you still need to spill it out.

Things are still like this even if I was still younger and unfortunately, it get worse as the time goes by. I, honestly speaking, can’t stand it anymore. It’s draining me every time I just think of about how things are so messed up in my family. All I know for now is, I am tired. I am so tired of dealing with them every single day. Every fucking single day that I have to pretend that everything is okay with me like I don’t care at all. I do care, is just that, whenever I say something they won’t listen to me. I can’t even tell to them that I do have a problems too.

I want to focus myself on the other aspects of life but these stresses and frustrations keeps bugging me. And as much as I want to stay positive and think that I still have friends for a shoulder to cry on, a cat who is smart enough to know if I am sad or not and a loving boyfriend to comfort me. But I also want a family to depend on. I know for now, it is impossible and I can’t. But in the mean time… I hope everything’s going to be okay. Right now, I think, I just have to deal with it.